Bush Proposes New Potential
Energy Sources: Heavy Objects
to be Placed Higher Up
WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - Exploring ways to bolster the economy without
relying on foreign oil supplies, US President George W. Bush proposed
seeking new potential energy sources. "I'm told that there is enormous
potential energy to be found if we had a bunch of heavy objects up on
hills," Bush told an enthusiastic crowd of tractor-trailer dealers
yesterday. The key, Bush said, was keeping the heavy objects on the top of
hills and other high places. "The moment the stuff starts rolling down the
hill we start losing all the potential energy," Bush explained. "That's no
Bush's critics argued that he should devote more attention to alternative
energy sources, such as kinetic energy. "What Bush overlooks is that heavy
objects rolling down hills are enormous producers of kinetic energy,"
responded Brian Jones of the Rolling Stone Kinetic Energy Association.
"But no, just because all the campaign contributions are coming in from
potential energy suppliers, Bush wants to forget about our kinetic energy
In a pitch to alternative energy promoters, Bush is expected to announce a
new plan to deliver static electricity to consumers. Bush has apparently
told his advisors that "static electricity doesn't do anybody any good if
it's all stuck in one place." His proposal, however, is expected to meet
considerable electrical resistance.