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Alan Greenspan Project
Promises to Rock Your Stocks Off

WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan announced today the formation of The Alan Greenspan Project, "a rock and roll supergroup which will lead America to musical and economic salvation." The group, consisting of Greenspan on vocals and keyboards, Michael Milken on guitar, Malcolm Forbes, Jr. on bass, and Charles Schwab on drums, is the first of its kind seen in Washington since Gerald Ford's ska band, Untouchable Dick. "Our first album, Oop$!...We Did It Again goes on sale next week, and it is of such might that all Americans will rush out to buy multiple copies, thus freeing America from the oppression of recession," Greenspan said. "If I can't single-handedly stimulate the economy by lowering rates on loans, then I will do it from behind a microphone!"

According to band promoter and spokesman Warren Buffett, The Alan Greenspan Project is scheduled to appear on MTV's Total Request Live this Wednesday and Lou Dobbs Moneyline on CNN on Friday.

Oop$!...We Did It Again received 1 1/2 stars from Rolling Stone magazine.

Song titles:

  • Down on Wall Street
  • Baby Got Back-Leverage
  • F.O.M.C.
  • I Want to Hold Your Money in a Low Risk Investment Vehicle
  • Lawyers, Guns and Lots and Lots of Money
  • Holding You (Until Maturity)
  • Debt Finance Like It's 1999
  • Junk Bond Dog
(Reported by Reported by R.M. Weiner & Ishmael Alighieri
Graphics by Michael Sheinbaum & Chris White)

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