CURRENT ISSUE 1/14/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Gollum Ain't That America? Frank Haskins To-Do List: Rael Moth's Diary Travistan: State of Crisis! Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Study Confirms Briefs Worn by Pansy Mama's Boys DURHAM, N.C. (DPI) - A recently released Duke University study casts new light on the ongoing boxers-vs.-briefs underwear debate. According to the lead researcher, underwear psychologist Charles Unterwasche, it is the diaper-like configuration of briefs that currently makes them the top-selling male undergarment. But it shouldn't be that way, he explained. "Originally designed in the 1830s as an intermediate step between diapers and boxers, briefs have held on despite their obvious transitory nature because the world has become an increasingly unsure place over the decades," he said. Unterwasche conjectures that when presented with these new world worries, the brief-wearing man subconsciously feels he has more discretion to, and therefore is more likely to, figuratively or literally defecate on himself without notice than if he wore boxers, with less diaper-like covering and no elastic leg encasings. "This protection allows the brief-wearer to cling to his past, his diaper-wearing moment, if you will, where everything was simple and all needs nurtured by his care-giver," said the researcher. (Reported by Davejames)
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