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Advice from Strangers
This week's guest:
The Swedish Chef
Dear Chef,
About 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 6 months suggested that we should
think about "experimenting" with dating other people. I think
he's trying to say he wants to sleep with other people, but if he can't,
he still wants me as a booty call. Should I call him on it?
Confused in Columbus
My Deer CIC,
Voo. Vhet a cherk! Let me-a tell yuoo sumetheeng, huney. Bork bork bork!
Iff sumeune-a treeed thet veet me-a, I'd doomp heem leeke-a a bed
hebeet. Um de hur de hur de hur. Yuoo're-a nubudy's buuty cell. Tell
heem tu heet zee rued. Bork bork bork! Yuoo cun du su mooch better thun thet.
The Swedish Chef
Dear Chef,
I'm a public figure who wishes to retain my anonymousity, but I need your
advice! About a week ago, I accidentally choked on a pretzel. Now everybody
is making fun of me, and it hurts. How can I make this pain go away?
Sincerely,
George W... I mean, George B. Bush
Deer Geurge,
Furst ooff ell, choo yuoor fuud, yuoo beeg fuul. Pretzels, elthuoogh
yuummy, ere-a deenjeroos. Um gesh dee bork, bork! My guud freeend Mema
Cess vuoold tell yuoo tu steey ewey fruum hem sundveeches es vell. Dun't
vurry ebuoot peuple-a mekeeng foon ooff yuu. Hurty flurty schnipp
schnipp! Iferyune-a veell furget suun. Bork bork bork! Beseedes, it's
nut leeke-a yuoo're-a zee preseedent oor unytheeng.
The Swedish Chef
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