CURRENT ISSUE 01/21/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? New Feature! Musing With Mitch Frank Haskins Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   For my money, there's just no better day than Tuesday. If they ever make a bio-pic about Fidel Castro, I'd like to see Robin Williams play him as a gay guy. They say these Tuna Snack'ems are for cats, but my dog likes them just fine. Lately it seems to me like these porn spammers are just phoning it in. I'd like to kill the bastard who invented yellow lights. If Britney Spears had a penis, she'd be twice as popular around my house. So what if North Korea has nuclear weapons? They probably make shitty versions of 'em anyway. Some days, I can't decide which comic strip is funnier: Whimsical "Cathie" or irrepressible "Ziggy." Wake up America; we've got to find better ways to make use of sugar beets. If Bob Hope really wanted to entertain our servicemen, he'd give 'em all blowjobs. For my money, nothing says summer fun like Bocce Ball. I'm not gay, but if I were I think I'd make a play for Matt Damon. I've never had a cowlick, but boy, sometimes I sure wish I did. I've dined with Michael Jackson, and let me assure you that the oddball bit is strictly an act. He's one sharp cookie. "Zany" is a word you don't hear much anymore. Our loss, folks. Boy, some watermelon would go down good right about now. I think my toilet is angry at me. And rightfully so.
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