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Advice from Strangers

This Week's Guest

North Korean President
Kim Jung Il

Dear Kim,

I just recently got engaged to my girlfriend three months ago. I'm in the military and I just received my orders to be shipped out to an unknown location. Should I ask her to marry me before I go?

Hurried in Charlotte

Dear Imperialistic Pig,

You are just a puppet of your President Bush. Can't you see that this is nothing more than propaganda? Your government is trying to convince your country that North Korea is evil when all we want is to feed our people, live in peace and play Ping-Pong.

Kim Jung Il

Dear Kim,

Is it too early to start filling out my tax returns?

Eager Beaver in Cleveland

Dear Imperialist Pig,

Your government is stealing money from its hard working people. Any dictator can see that clearly. All of the money that is taken from your people is funneled into your military. All the Bush administration feeds you is a pack of lies. Nothing but LIES! In MY country we have no income tax therefore no tax problems. Pete Rose would never have gone to jail in MY country.

Kim Jung Il

Dear Kim,

Do you see a problem being labeled part of President Bush's Axis of Evil? And how do you propose we can end this nuclear standoff?

Scared in Topeka,

Dear Scared,

I think the Raiders were the best team all year. I was surprised the Bucs made it as far as the Super Bowl but they sure belonged there. Personally my picks were the New York Giants and the Denver Broncos. Boy did I take a beating. Next year I'm looking for Green Bay to rebound and I like Denver once again.

Kim Jung Il

(Transcribed by Jeff Rabinowitz)

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