CURRENT ISSUE 01/28/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List Musing With Mitch NEW FEATURE! Riding Shotgun With Adventure Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Avast! Buccaneers, Raiders Pillage San Diego SAN DIEGO, Calif. (DPI) - Tragedy and irony mixed Sunday night as members of the Oakland Raiders and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers joined forces and turned on the nearly 80,000 spectators, relieving them of their money, valuables and, in some cases, lives. The game progressed normally until three minutes into the third quarter. During an aggressive downfield attack by the Raiders, both teams suddenly headed toward the stands, tearing off their jerseys to reveal the skull-and-crossbones emblem. They were joined by cutlass-wielding special teams and second-stringers from both benches as they boarded the stands amidships. No man, woman or child was safe from the helmeted blackguards, and many a maid lost her virtue as well as her jewelry that day. Any man who tried to resist was put to the sword, made to walk the plank, or tied to the goalpost and given a lick o' the cat. Once their robbery was complete, the massed pirates made good their escape. They were thwarted in their attempt to scuttle the stadium and send her to the briny deep with all hands aboard and opted instead to set off the fire-suppression sprinklers before disappearing into the streets and alleyways of San Diego. The Coast Guard continues to scour the city's hotels, bars and brothels for the cutthroats. (Reported by Kevin Wickart and Jeff Rabinowitz)
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