 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
02/04/03 Front Page Big News from Dadistan Weekly Features Riding Shotgun With Adventure Musing With Mitch Frank Haskins Ain't That America? Moth's Diary To-Do List Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
|
Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty! 
|
|
|
|||
|
News From Dadistan The Daily Probe Reports from the Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan |
||||
|
Fanfare Greets Newest Travistani Citizen  Princess Leah Kiko Ruetenik enjoys an audience with President Travis The President, who accompanied the new Princess as she cleared customs inspection from the dog, spoke of a new era in the apartment-nation: "Gone are the days of late-night beer drinking and dirty socks on the lampshade. Let us together ring in the new age with a celebration of out-of-control bodily functions and shrieking!" The Travistani Queen Mum accepted a promotion in social status within the tiny country's caste system for what were described as "deeds and sacrifices above and completely beyond the President's ability to fathom." The Little Ballerina and Apple-of-the-President's-Eye spent her first night in her birthright nation snuggled in what her keepers called a "Baby Burrito," fashioned from a blanket reading "Hospital Property." (Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
|
|
|
|
or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission. |
|