CURRENT ISSUE 02/11/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Dadistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Romantic Comedies, Hollywood to Divorce HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (DPI) - In a development that stunned the movie world, Hollywood filed for divorce from the romantic-comedy genre yesterday, citing "irreconcilable differences." The move ended a 70-year marriage that experts thought would last forever. An obviously saddened Hollywood held an impromptu press conference on the courthouse steps to try to explain. "All relationships go through a number of changes through the years," it said. "In the beginning it was great -- Thin Man, Topper, very Astaire and Rogers. We were happy. Then came the comfortable years, when our mutual interest started to fade. We spiced up our relationship with some ... well, weird stuff. Harold and Maude. Even Rocky Horror Picture Show. Those were some very good times." And yet this was only a temporary remedy for an increasingly disillusioned Hollywood, which felt that romantic Comedy was not seriously trying to hold up its half of the relationship. "I felt it was becoming very one- sided," Hollywood admitted. "I found myself in bed with total strangers, like Adam Sandler and a bunch of other Saturday Night Live alumni. When I raised the issue, romantic comedy became very defensive and I knew we needed some help. We tried to recapture the old magic, but even the endearing familiarity of something like Two Weeks Notice couldn't rekindle the flame." Hollywood said it finally realized that it had "gone to bed with Tracy and Hepburn, but was waking up with Nicholson and Bates." Later in the day, the romantic-comedy genre would only comment, "I regret that we couldn't work things out, but I believe this is best for both of us. I wish Hollywood nothing but the best for the future." Romantic comedy then turned and walked away, eyes brimming with stoic tears. (Reported by Kevin Wickart)
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