Alaric the Visigoth
Alaric Calls Bush's War Preparations "Womanish"
ATLANTA (DPI) - In a scathing criticism of President Bush's
preparations for war with Iraq, CNN political analyst Alaric the Visigoth
called current steps "womanish." "What does this dung heap hope will come
from endless threats?" asked the king of the fifth-century Visigoth horde. "If
Bush the Leaden-Tongued could trust his manhood and his horde, he would long
ago have taken Saddam the Taunter's head without another word. It is best to
let the unconquered learn to fear your silence. A wise barbarian's sword
speaks for him."
Alaric sliced the ear off an insufficiently nimble reporter who asked if it
were not prudent to get overwhelming force in place before an attack is
launched. "Fools," said Alaric. "The Babbler's heralds have been heaping taunts upon Saddam
the Unrelenting for months, warning him of invasion so that his horde stands
ready, and all plunder has been hidden or sold, and women and children sent
into hiding. There will be much torture and many beheadings before all is
found. Even a bloodthirsty spear does not relish such needless busy work,
and the shortage of women annoys the horde."
by Ishmael Alighieri)