The Top 5 List The Daily Probe Ruminations Save Martha Stewart!



Front Page


Advice from Strangers

Ain't That America?

To-Do List:
Rosie O'Donnell

Moth's Diary

News from

Movie Corner


Crap Shop
Who's at Fault?
Contact Us!

Cans of Whup-Ass To Get Warning Label

WASHINGTON (DPI) - The Food and Drug Administration announced today that new regulations will require the use of safety warning labels on all domestically-produced cans of whup-ass. These labels will remind users that contents are under pressure and that use of whup ass can result in retaliatory beatings. Long the subject of jurisdictional debate between the FDA and the Federal Trade Commission, whup-ass regulation continues to be discussed behind closed doors, where both sides reportedly are opening cans of newly labeled, Texas-sized whup-ass on each other.


(Reported by Jody LaFerriere and Davejames, Graphics by Chris White)

The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.

Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved
No use allowed without prior permission.