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CURRENT ISSUE 02/25/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting with Push Riding Shotgun with Adventure Frank Haskins Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Globetrotting with Push With your host, Raji "Push" Pushparajah 2/25/03 - Banff, Alberta, Canada Nestled in the heart of the majestic Canadian Rockies, Lake Louise ski resort presents more than 4,000 acres of pristine Alpine adventure. I disembarked from the top of the "Paradise" chair lift filled with the anticipation of following in the tracks of those Swiss adventurers who, more than a century ago, founded this World Heritage site. A first time skier, I was soon careening out of control down the mountainside at exhilarating speeds. Fate and gravity soon carried me past a sign marked only with a black diamond. This was most reassuring, for in my homeland this is a symbol of health and good fortune. Seconds later, I arced through the piercingly blue mountain air after sailing off one of the area's many famous and unmarked cliffs. As old-growth Douglas firs rushed up to greet me, I instinctively pointed my feet earthward. My fall ended abruptly when I straddled a lower branch of quite some girth. I remember nothing of the relatively short drop to the ground after that. The searing pain in my nether regions was soothed greatly by the freezing mountain air that now passed freely through the large tear in the crotch of my once-resplendent Gore-Tex ski pants. I soon lost consciousness, but not before experiencing those much-talked-about "dreamy thoughts" that come in the advanced stages of hypothermia. I awoke in the Banff Mineral Springs hospital some days later. As the nurses proficiently change the dressing on my frostbitten manhood, they often giggle, conveying that warm and friendly nature for which the Canadians are renowned.
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