CURRENT ISSUE 3/5/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: Dennis Miller Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Probe SWAG! Who's at Fault? Contact Us	New "Vlasectomy" Surgery Extends Penis With Pickle BALTIMORE, MD (DPI) - Doctors at Johns Hopkins University on Friday performed a never-before-attempted surgery using a dill pickle to extend the length of a male sex organ. The six-hour surgery, originally planned for last Wednesday, was delayed by two full days until a proper donor organ was located and flown in from a deli in midtown Manhattan. The penis in question belongs to Michael Nefari, a 31 year old from Elizabeth, New Jersey. Nefari volunteered to be the guinea pig for the radical procedure because his penis was significantly undersized, and had caused him much embarrassment with sex partners as well as in his gym's locker room. "People can be cruel, but just wait till they get a load of THIS!" said Nefari, brandishing his new, longer, somewhat greener penis. "They're not going to laugh at ME anymore." The World's First Vlasectomy: The team of skilled surgeons discusses their plans. Dr. Han Lee prepares the organic extension. Finding the correct angle is crucial. The attachment procedure begins. Dude, you're gettin' a dill! In order to minimize scarring, very small sutures are used. A good sign: The gherkin is jerkin'! Three days post-op, the happy patient shows off his pickleness. (Reported by Jim Rosenberg & Chris White, Graphics by Chris White)
The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission.