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03/11/03 Front Page Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List Globetrotting with Push Musing With Mitch Alaric the Visigoth Moth's Diary News from Travistan Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
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Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty! 
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Advice from Strangers
This Week's Guest
Fred Rogers, 1928-2003
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Dear Mr. Rogers, I work in a high-intensity sales office alongside twelve other salespeople who compete constantly for recognition and commissions. Stepping on one another's toes and backbiting are daily occurrences. I don't mind the intensity so much, but isn't there something I can do to soften up the one-upmanship and make for a more peaceful sales day? Burning Both Ends in Boston Dear Gentle Reader, We all have times when people make us feel sad. Can YOU remember a time when you were sad because of something somebody said to you that was mean? Sometimes when I feel sad, I get out my picture book and draw a picture of what I'd LIKE to be feeling. Here's a picture of me out for a walk. See? That's me right here. And here's a big tree that I drew, because when I'm sad, sometimes I like to sit down under a nice big tree and read a storybook or watch the clouds go by in the sky. Usually by the time I've finished my picture, I don't feel so sad anymore! We all can imagine the happy places that we like to visit, just by using our imaginations. Fred Dear Mr. Rogers, I own a building contracting firm specializing in demolitions and foundation work. Recently, I leased a 3-year-old Komatsu A-33d backhoe over a 15-year term with an extended service plan. The rate said it was all-inclusive, but I'm now worried that any service issues are going to cost me more than I expected in downtime and overtime pay. Should I try to renegotiate a more conservative leasing structure? Missed the Fine Print in Mississippi Dear Gentle Reader, My, this certainly IS a big piece of machinery, isn't it? Hello! Can we come on up and have a look? Thank you very much! Kids, Mister Donaldson is going to show us this exciting piece of equipment called a backhoe. Can you say "backhoe"? Good! Mister Donaldson, do you spend all day making this machine dig in the dirt and level the land for people to build new houses on? How nice! My, it sure does scoop up a lot of dirt at one time, doesn't it? Well, WE can scoop up dirt, too, with our own backhoe, like the one I have here in my sandbox. See? Just by using our imagination, we can pretend to help build new houses for people to live in, just like Mister Donaldson! Fred Dear Mr. Rogers, My name is Yasmin an im 3 yers old an i go to schol an i no this girl Tyler who hits peple an says bad words. Befuddled in Belmont Dear Gentle Reader, Remember earlier today when we talked with King Friday? He was angry because someone had stolen the cherry tarts from Lady Elaine's oven. He certainly WAS angry, just like you, wasn't he? I never thought I'd see him slap Mr. McFeely around like that, did you? That's what we call a conniption fit. Can you say "conniption fit"? Remember how Mr. McFeely was bleeding from his mouth? That sure would have hurt if it happened to you, wouldn't it? I think it's best to tell Tyler how she makes you feel before you slap the little creep around a little bit. And then have a cherry tart. Mmm, they sure are good, aren't they? Fred |
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