CURRENT ISSUE 03/11/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List Globetrotting with Push Musing With Mitch Alaric the Visigoth Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Local Thugs Take Back The Streets From Community's Neighborhood Watch Group CHICAGO (DPI) - Richard "Shank" Jackson, leader of the dreaded Deadly Boyz street gang and lifelong resident of southside Chicago, was fed up. "This used to be a great neighborhood. But little by little, it's changed for the worse," said Jackson. "Ever since that local citizens' watch group started patroling the neighborhood, it's really hurt our dope peddlers, pimps and burglars. It's gotten to the point where my gang members are telling me that they don't even feel safe walking on the streets anymore." Remembering his beloved mother's words, "You can achieve anything if you set your mind to it," Jackson set out to change the neighborhood back to the way it used to be. Through good planning, the gang members' enthusiasm, and the support of well-compensated police officers, Jackson transformed a disheartened, discouraged street gang into a fired-up army that would allow nothing to stand in its way. He watched with pride last night as more than 200 Deadly Boyz gang members jacked up on PCP beat up and robbed all 14 Neighborhood Watch members as they walked in a "Take Back The Streets" candlelight vigil. "It just goes to prove that if you can dream it, you can do it," said a triumphant Jackson. "We've sent a clear message to the neighborhood that we're not going to tolerate their community involvement anymore. This is *our* home, and we're never going to let them take it away from us again." (Reported by Miles Walker)
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