The Top 5 List The Daily Probe Ruminations Save Martha Stewart!






CURRENT ISSUE


03/25/03

Front Page

Weekly
Features

Advice from Strangers

Ain't That America?

Globetrotting
With Push


Moth's Diary

Musing
With Mitch


News from
Travistan



Info

Archives
Crap Shop
Who's at Fault?
Contact Us!



Aye, mateys!
Get you some
Daily Probe booty!




Halle Berry a Sniffling, Slobbering Mess After
Becoming First Black Woman to Present an Oscar After
Becoming First Black Woman to Win Best Actress Oscar



HOLLYWOOD (DPI) - Halle Berry became an Academy Award pioneer yet again on Sunday by presenting an Oscar, a first for a black female that has won a Best Actress Oscar.

"Presenting this award to somebody isn't just about me," sobbed the trail-blazing Berry, struggling unsuccessfully to hold back her tears. As she searched in vain for something to wipe her watery eyes and runny nose, she wished that her stunning, gold-colored, one-shoulder Elie Saab gown had come with sleeves.

"I present this award not only for myself, but for all of the talented black women who presented Oscars without ever winning a Best Actress Oscar, who came before me." No sooner had Berry finished speaking when her body physically dissolved, leaving nothing but a large puddle of fluid on the stage and podium.

(Reported by Miles Walker)



The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.

Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved
No use allowed without prior permission.