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Bin Laden Said to Be Hiding in Afghanistan Starbucks
KABUL (DPI) - Sources close to Osama bin Laden are reporting that
the world's most wanted criminal is hiding in plain sight, working as a
barista at an undisclosed Starbucks in Afghanistan. "Even in
Afghanistan, there's at *least* one Starbucks on every corner," said
Omar Sayed, who reportedly was served a venti Mocha Frappucino with whipped
cream by bin Laden just last Friday. "Even with the resources of the
evil Americans and their cronies, it would still take years for them to
search every franchise here."
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was infuriated by the news.
"Last month, we got word that he was working at Pottery Barn, and
we still haven't finished searching all of those locations, and now this.
Starbucks is an American institution!" said Rumsfeld. "Bin Laden
has no right to infringe on our God-given right to fresh gourmet coffee."
(Reported by Chris White, Graphics by Ross Brown)
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The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.
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