CURRENT ISSUE 04/15/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Alaric Moth's Diary Movie Corner Musing with Mitch News from Travistan Riding Shotgun with Adventure Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Daily Probe Movie Review by Faith McDonald Accounting Coordinator Sprint Canada    Anger Management Rating: 1 star (out of 5) I think the editors at the Daily Probe are out to punish me. I mean, there are seven days in a week, yet they always send me out to screenings that are on Monday nights, and they pick the suckiest bunch of total crapola they can find. It's a conspiracy or something. Oh, and I know my "Faith"ful readers are wondering how the Scientology mixer went. I didn't really learn much about what this religion is supposed to be about, but the guys are nothing to write home about. It was pretty much a mish-mash of guys in Wal-Mart clothes and entry-level jobs. I've done some digging around on the Web, and from what I can tell, they tell you more about Scientology when you give them more money, and that's when you get to meet the better-looking, well-off guys. While it's tempting, I just don't have the money right now. And besides, they should be trying to recruit ME. So I tried to convince my bitch best friend Wendy to go see this latest crap-fest with me, so that she wouldn't have all the first picks at Monday night Broker Night at the Hungry Crocodile. Of course, being the man-hungry slut she is, she wouldn't fall for it. Once again, I got there after the movie and she had an OCEAN of well-off kind-of-handsome men swooning around her. Guys make me sick sometimes. So anyway, the movie sucked, totally. It's all about this nerdy guy who won't stick up for himself, and because of a stupid misunderstanding he winds up in Jack Nicholson's anger-management group. And Nicholson is insane or something. It's not really very funny, and Adam Sandler kind of bugs me. If he wasn't worth, like, $100 million or whatever he's got he wouldn't even be cute. So, they go through the movie and we find out that Sandler is actually a really angry guy who represses a lot -- which is totally stupid because if you've ever been forced to sit through Happy Gilmore or The Waterboy, you knew that already. Did I tell you what Wendy was wearing? She was TOTALLY showing off her boobs in this laced-up-the-front top. No wonder she gets all the primo broker guys ... she totally advertises. But, what these guys don't realize is that mine are bigger. It's totally true. The only reason I don't go back on the Atkins diet is because I don't want them to get any smaller. Oh, and because I'm comfortable with myself. Anyways, the movie totally sucked. And now Wendy has a date with some securities guy who's taking her to see Mamma Mia! next week, even though I'm 10 times the ABBA fan she is. Life is so unfair.
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