CURRENT ISSUE 04/15/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Alaric Moth's Diary Movie Corner Musing with Mitch News from Travistan Riding Shotgun with Adventure Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Iraq: Saddam in Outer Space BAGHDAD, Iraq (DPI) - In a move already decried as "downright dirty" by senior U.S. military personnel and "simply not on" by British commanders, Saddam Hussein is believed to have launched himself into space in a complex exile bid that appears to have wrong-footed the coalition forces. It is believed the Iraqi president decided to build an intergalactic starship sometime last year as war appeared ever more likely. Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf claimed the astonishing technical achievement during a press conference late last night. "Saddam is not dead," said al-Sahhaf. "He has simply decided to spend some time in the Kuyper Belt, and any infidel that questions his right to do so is no more than a dog and will be slaughtered." According to the information minister, Saddam designed the technological marvel himself while undertaking a correspondence course in chemical propellants. Indeed, some observers have suggested that Saddam's repeated purchases of chemistry textbooks through Amazon.com may have been why his name apeared on a Pentagon list of "individuals causing concern." According to al-Sahhaf, Saddam is enjoying living in a zero-gravity environment and may not return "anytime soon, you imperialist criminal." When asked by a BBC reporter if Saddam was, in fact, dead, he replied, "It is none of your business to ask me that." (Reported by Alex Prior)
The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission.