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04/15/03

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President Travis

News From Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan


President Travis Given Ultimatum on Bad Shirts
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - The oft-beleaguered Dictator and President-for-Life of the apartment-nation of Travistan faced harsh criticism from Fashion Czar Mrs. Travis this week. According to a scathing written statement posted on the presidential wardrobe with a yellow sticky note, the nation's textile storage procedures and policies will be subjected to inspection by a task force headed by Mrs. Travis. The task force's goal is to "clean house" by clearing several government departments of "wasteful and outdated" materials. While the apartment-nation admits to numerous minor fashion policy violations such as worn-out underwear, sock holes and various missing buttons, the task force is said to be concentrating on the nation's trademark Hawaiian-print shirt collection, which it claims is in violation of bad-taste non-proliferation agreements.

Mrs. Travis has given the president 48 hours to "clean out any and all tasteless shirts which violate previously established standards of color, style, material or pattern." The President could not be reached for comment.


Three of the shirts which have come under scrutiny for bad-taste violations.


(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)


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