CURRENT ISSUE 04/22/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Frank Haskins Musing with Mitch Moth's Diary Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   Someone tell all these bandwagon-jumpers that your ol' pal Mitch was wearing masks in public long before this stupid SARS scare. In my mind, it's not really a snack food without some meat by-products in it. As far as ethnic cuisine is concerned, I don't think the Canadians have anything to brag about. For my money, the kazoo is the most democratic of musical instruments. If I ruled the universe, I'd have something to say about Tim Conway. Been meaning to see that pineapple museum in Hawaii. Is it as good as they say? If I had to choose between being replaced by robots or monkeys, I'd go for the monkeys nine times out of 10. Odd how you never hear of guys named Hop-Sing any more. If you ask me, all those gays and lesbians really need is a nap. Friends, if they'd made edible panties in "zesty ranch" flavor, my first marriage would have lasted a lot longer. Precision defined: my sideburns. Thanks, Barber Tom! I don't mind admitting, I'm high as a kite right now. I'll bet they don't sell gasoline through hydrants because they're afraid firefighters would get confused. Dollar coins are just plain stupid. But quarter bills -- now you're talkin'! You didn't hear it from me, but bike helmets are for sissies.
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