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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

My favorite Jackson was always Tito, but only because he was named after a dictator.

Somebody should invent a cordless battery charger.

I've never felt "as giddy as a schoolgirl," but I often feel "as frolicky as a fawn."

I like Rice Krispies, I really do. But serve me Cocoa Krispies and we're gonna tango.

Did Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin ever give it a rest?

For my money, those eastern European countries should quit changing their damn names.

The barber with the deepest shade of blue in his comb and scissor disinfectant. That's your man.

I'll try anything once, except necrophilia -- I've got that penciled in twice.

What ever happened to lawn darts?

What's all this moping and hand-wringing over proctology exams? Me, I kind of enjoy them!

Screw hockey, Mitch says. Why should those Canadians dominate yet another sport?

You know, this Night Train stuff ain't half bad. I think the homeless have been holding out on us.

Here's a helpful household tip: You can flush the toilet without touching the handle simply by dumping a bucket of water in the bowl.

What's the opposite of obsessive-compulsive disorder? 'Cause I think I've got that.

You know what's good? Those hot fudge sundaes.

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