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Information Minister Resumes Transparent Denials

BAGHDAD, Iraq (DPI) - The ghost of Iraqi Minister of Information Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf appeared before reporters today to resume denying American war successes. "I am still alive," said al-Sahhaf, who vanished after the capital fell three weeks ago. "Saddam is alive and I am alive and we are all alive and we are victorious. Iraq will pulverize American poopyheads." Reporters confronted him with apparent evidence to the contrary. "But dude, you're a ghost. I just waved my hand right through your torso," said one reporter. Yet al-Sahhaf persisted. "There is no hand," he insisted as he faded and disappeared. "And any bastard American hand that comes near us, we will cut it off."

(Reported by Peg Warner, graphics by Kevin Wickart)

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