CURRENT ISSUE 5/6/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? Alaric Riding Shotgun with Adventure Moth's Diary Musing with Mitch News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   This country would be a lot better off if we started refering to our presidents by their initials again. Sorry, folks, but Duluth is simply not all it's cracked up to be. "How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?" The answer, my friend, is seven. For me, anyway. 37 years young and still running like a top: my lava lamp. You haven't lived until you've spent a morning watching a construction team put up scaffolding. Spankings: They served me well as a child, they serve me well as an adult. If I can't find it at Wal-Mart or Home Depot, ol' Mitch probably doesn't need it. A lot of those Iraqis look way too jumpy to me. Take it from Mitch, those Ramen flavor packets aren't just for noodles any more. What Warhol did with canvas, that's what my barber does with my scalp. Yes, he's that good, ladies and gentlemen. I shouldn't brag, but I could show you people a thing or two about the best way to cook up some giblets. Things that still make me laugh: chia pets, singing fish, the way English people talk. I know it's not politically correct, but I just love my peanut oil mixed with MSG. Other baseball teams should try to figure out how the Yankees always seem to end up with all the best players. To be the best, you have to learn from the best, people. When I get to heaven, I sure hope that the broccoli is better.
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