The Top 5 List The Daily Probe Ruminations Save Martha Stewart!






CURRENT ISSUE


5/6/03

Front Page

Weekly
Features

Advice from Strangers

Ain't That America?

Alaric

Riding Shotgun with Adventure

Moth's Diary

Musing with Mitch

News from
Travistan


Movie Corner

Info

Archives
Crap Shop
Who's at Fault?
Contact Us!



Aye, mateys!
Get you some
Daily Probe booty!




Sunday 4th May


Something terrible is afoot. Jennifer Lopez wants Kylie Minogue's ass creme, and nothing on heaven or earth will keep her from her bottom's desire. Earth's foundations tremble! My own fundament quakes, to be perfectly frank. A friend of La M. told reporters, "Kylie's makeup girl has found the elixir of arse-maintenance, and there's no way she'll let that awful Lopez woman near it." Bravo, say I, who last Sunday had to endure constant ESPN camera shots of J-Lo filing her nails and stifling yawns in a pink fur-lined parka at a ballgame in Anaheim. What's odd is that I am the manufacturer of said creme, and what's odder still is that I haven't sent it to Kylie or even told her makeup girl about it yet. After I figure out the appropriate fragrance to offset the creme's natural tartness, the drum will be shipped to Kylie only, never fret.





The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.

Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved
No use allowed without prior permission.