CURRENT ISSUE 05/20/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Globetrotting with Push Musing with Mitch Moth's Diary Riding Shotgun with Adventure Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Japs Definitely Up To Something Guest Probeatorial by Lt. Col. Vernon Vernon, U.S. Army (Ret.) Just as sure as chunks of the USS Arizona lie rusting at the bottom of Pearl Harbor, by God I'm telling you the Japs are up to something. Something big. Real damn big. About three years ago, my grandson comes over and spends the whole four goddamn hours at our house playing with shiny Jap cards called "Pokemon." I tell you, his grandmother couldn't jam a gooey hot tollhouse cookie in between him and the inscrutable little cards. The next year, it's "Digimon." Last week, he guzzled down about a kegger of Ritalin and buried his head in a pack of something called "Yu-Gi-Oh" cards. What in the hell is going on here, people? Is anybody still alive with enough sense to see what's going on? It's WAR, my blind friends! W-A-R, war! It may not be kamikaze fighters flying low over Hawaii and raining yellow death on our boys, but these cards are like little bombs that go off in the minds of children. By God, it won't be long until they are doing the Emperor's bidding and we are taking all our orders from Tokyo. Wake up, Damn you all!
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