CURRENT ISSUE 05/27/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List News from Travistan Musing with Mitch Moth's Diary Globetrotting with Push Riding Shotgun with Adventure Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   Why the hell can't General Electric invent a combination toaster/blender? Of all the things I was willing to try once, waxing my pubes was the least enjoyable. What's Mitch's secret in scoring with the ladies? A little Old Spice in the toothpaste. Idea! How about a software program that collects all of your popup windows so you can look them over later when you have more time? Boy, ants sure are stupid little creatures. All that MSG you people aren't eating? Just put it on Mitch's plate, baby. My new neighbor is a vegetarian. Haven't met him yet, but I imagine I will as soon as he tries to lift something heavy. Remember those beehive hairdos? Weren't those crazy? I can't believe I used to have one. What in the wide world of sports are these dried up little shriveled grapes doing in my Raisin Bran? Since they're still looking for so many al-Qaeda people, can't they use dogs? Don't they have dogs who can smell terrorists? I don't know about Annika Sorenstam, but Ann B. Davis can play through Mitch's links anytime. There ought to be some kind of special phone number you can call if there's an emergency. A truly great barber should be one with your hair. I know mine is. It's fascinating how "computer monitor," "monitor lizard" and "hallway monitor" all have the same word in them. I don't care what it is, ol' Mitch will pick "crunchy" over "chewy" nine times out of ten. Know what's good? Pizza with mushrooms, of all things. Try it sometime!
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