Keebler Introduces Jeez-Its to Appeal to Catholic Market
NEW YORK (DPI) - As the consumer snack food industry continues its
hyper-competitive game of one-upsmanship in the race to appeal to
micro-niches, Keebler Co. has announced it is releasing a
variant on the popular Cheez-It line of cheese snack cracker called
Jeez-It, designed to appeal to Roman Catholics.
Provided as unconsecrated Holy Communion hosts, the Jeez-It line of
crackers is designed to
appeal to the key influencer of the purchase, the parish priests, to draw
younger Catholics back into weekly Mass attendance. With a light coating of
powdered processed cheese food, the cracker is a tasty substitute for the
traditional hosts used in the Eucharistic celebration by Catholics
"No longer will Catholic parishes be constrained by having to purchase
Eucharistic supplies through the cabal of religious supply shops", said a
Keebler spokesperson. "Not only can we supply the hosts to churches at a
lower cost, but we can supply a product designed to appeal to a core
demographic that is slipping away from the Church. It's a win-win!"
Church officials were less sanguine about the product, telling reporters,
"Ernest and Julio Gallo approached us several years back about standardizing
their 'Delicato' line of wines. However, they insisted on co-branding the
Mass celebration, which was unacceptable to us. The Keebler products are
equally unacceptable, given they are made by elves, which are well-known
minions of Satan."
Keebler plans to introduce additional lines of products targeted to various
religions and ethnic groups, including Extreme Matzos! and Jalapeño Jeez-Its
for the Latin-American market.
(Reported by Ross Brown)
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