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6/3/03

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President Travis

News From Travistan


The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan



Princess Skyrockets in Popularity Polls

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - Fueled by her toothless smile, big eyes and no fewer than three little outfits with matching headbands, the Travistani Crown Princess is enjoying a near 80-percent approval rating, recent polls show. Travistani citizens line the streets outside where she sleeps, waiting for the adorable 3 1/2-month-old's first giggle each morning. "She is clearly the People's Princess and can look forward to a long period of popularity," said President Travis of his noble offspring. "Until she turns 2 and starts with the 'No!' stuff, most likely."

Other poll results show a 95-percent approval rating for Mrs. Travis' shrimp fajitas from last Friday, 86-percent approval of the new brand of toilet paper in the guest bathroom and 67-percent acceptance of new agreements which strike a balance between Judging Amy and NBA playoffs on Tuesday nights. President Travis' approval rating remains 100 percent, thanks in part to word from the new Ministry of Information, which declared the leader "glorious," "on-target," "miraculous" and "waddling."


(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)





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