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6/4/02 Front Page Features Movie Corner To-Do List: Robert Mueller Moth's Diary News from Travistan Advice from Strangers Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
Advice from Strangers
This week's guest:
Tommy Chong
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Dear Tommy,
Last week, I was laid off after 25 years with the same company. I'm nearing fifty, and I might not have an easy time finding a job in this market. How do you think I should approach this? Unemployed in Utica Dear Unemployed Dude, Wow. That's, like, a total bummer, man. Workin' for twenty-five years? Oh, man, I can't even remember what I was doing twenty-five minutes ago, man! Oh, wait... wasn't I... yeah! I was eating that meatball sub! Where is that thing, man? Aw, dude, I hope I didn't finish it already, cause that was a good sandwich. I know I put it... oh, man! I just, like, totally found a quarter! Oh yeah, so, like, your problem man... I just say roll with it, man. I mean, there's got to be other jobs, right? Like, you could deliver subs or something. Man... where IS that sub? Tommy Dear Tommy, My elderly father was recently diagnosed with glaucoma, and the doctor said that we might be able to get a prescription for medical marijuana. I'm concerned about the side effects. Am I worrying too much? Worried in Van Nuys Dear Worried Dude, I'd think twice about that medical pot, man, cause like I've been doin' these doobs for like, totally at least ten years or something, and I'm tellin' you, man, sometimes I can't see straight, so I don't know how your old man is gonna... man, you know, if I could see better I'd know where my fuckin' sandwich is. Hey, like I think Van Nuys is near here. Hey, man, do me a solid and totally bring me a meatball sub. Then I can, like, answer you in person, right? And totally bring your old man. Just make sure he ain't a narc, man. Tommy Dear Tommy, Look, PENDEJO -- when I agreed to let you handle all of the residual rights, man, I expected you to actually GIVE ME my half of the money! Come on, man. Don't make me call my lawyer. Tommy! Yo, Tommy! Are you paying attention to me? Richard "Cheech" Marin Dear Cheech Dude, Uh... Dave's not here, man! (He hates it when I do that.) Hey, man, like I totally have your money... Oh, man, I just found my sandwich! Man, these are like the totally best meatball subs. Tommmy |
(Transcribed by Greg Preece)
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