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News from Travistan
The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan
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Travistani Airspace Invaded by Errant Roach
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - Citizens remained under lockdown this afternoon as
Travistani peacekeeping forces continued to seek out a rogue force
consisting of a two-inch flying palmetto bug. The invader was last seen
entering a cave network under the appliance infrastructure of Travamabad's
Kitchen District. "Travistan's military forces are up to the task of
eliminating the threat of cowardly terrorist cockroaches wherever they may
strike," said Commander-In-Chief President Travis. The president applied
the War Travbunal Act, allowing for presidential takeover of all military
forces, for the first time in the history of the apartment-nation. While
Travistan does have an active military, the president applied the act after
the minister of defense proved himself unable to meet the airborne threat.
"When I called the minister in, he just brought a doggie toy like I was
going to give him a treat," said President Travis from the front line. In
times of national emergency, the president is able to take active control of
all Travistani forces, including bug spray, mosquito punks and a pair of
size 11 rubber thong slippers. The first lady had locked herself into the
safety of the hall bathroom and was unavailable for comment.
(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
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