CURRENT ISSUE 06/10/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting With Push Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Riding Shotgun With Adventure Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Man Unsure How Much Longer He Can Avoid Home-Brewing Friend SPOKANE, Wash. (DPI) - Bob Ayers and Ken Emerson were pretty tight friends -- until Emerson starting brewing his own beer. "I feel kind of bad, 'cause I've been avoiding Ken like the plague ever since he started his home brewery. But I just can't stand that drinking that micropiss," said Ayers. Ayers is concerned that Emerson will catch on to the fact that he's ignored repeated invitations to come over to his home. "Last month, I turned down an invite by making the excuse that my wife was sick," he said. "And earlier this week, I told him I couldn't watch the Yankee game with him because I had to go into work early the next morning. It's only a matter of time before he figures out that I'm bullshitting him." Ayers has also tried other tactics to make his point politely. "When I came over for New Year's Eve, I brought a 12-pack of Heineken, but he failed to catch the hint," said Ayers. "He just said, 'Oh, why settle for that mass-produced off-the-shelf crap? Here, try some of batch No. 12 - it's got a hint of blueberry.' And I'm thinking, 'Blueberry? I didn't request a goddamn smoothie, I just want a fucking beer.'" (Reported by Miles Walker)
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