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06/10/03 Front Page Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting With Push Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Riding Shotgun With Adventure Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
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Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty! 
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Dad Disappointed With Homemade Father's Day Card "Ashley was all smiles when she handed it to me and she said she spent a lot of time on it," Mark Herrin recalled. "But when I looked at it, I felt like cashing in her college fund. Words were misspelled, an 'e' was backwards and the glitter got on my hands and in my lap. The heart was taped on crooked and the construction paper colors didn't even go well together." Mark's wife, Sandy, came up with the idea and thought the card would be a heart-warming gift. "Boy was I wrong," she said. "I provided her with all the paper, glue, markers, and I even helped her with the scissors. But the kid still produced a real piece of crap. With grammatical errors like 'bestest Dad in the world', I'm just glad she didn't put my name on that garbage." To compound the problem, several of Mark's coworkers displayed their expensive Hallmark cards on their desks. "Sure, their kids didn't even sign the cards," said Herrin. "But they were high-quality, professionally produced cards with full-color photos and sentimental statements written by professional writers. Now THOSE kids love their dads!" While Ashley was sent to the store with Grandma to buy her father a more appropriate card with her own money, Herrin seemed determined to repay his daughter for her shoddy workmanship. "Just wait until Christmas morning when she sees the Barbie 'Condemmed Dreamhouse' I build for her," he said. |
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