CURRENT ISSUE 6/11/02 Front Page Weekly Features Movie Corner News from Travistan Advice from Strangers Moth's Diary Ain't That America? To-Do List: R. Kelly Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us!	Pakistan's Chocolate Clashes With India's Peanut Butter SRINAGAR, India (DPI) - Tensions rose even further today between Pakistan and India when Pakistani President Gen. Perves Musharraf accused Indian Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee of dropping a chocolate bar inside an open jar of Musharraf's peanut butter. "We were sitting in the boardroom of the New Delhi Hilton, waiting for the latest rounds of peace talks to resume, when all of a sudden in walks Vajpayee, not looking where he's going," an enraged Musharraf told the press. "He 'slips' on a banana peel, the chocolate goes flying and lands smack dab in the middle of my peanut butter. Are these the actions of a responsible leader? Are these the actions of one who desires a peaceful end to this conflict?" Vajpayee was equally critical of Musharraf when he addressed assembled press. "I suggest that the Pakistani leader moved his peanut butter into the trajectory of my airborne chocolate bar ... purposely to sully its rich chocolatey goodness." He also suggested that militant Musharraf supporters may have been behind the placement of the errant banana peel. The dispute could lead the two countries once again to the brink of war. Since gaining independence from Great Britain in 1947, the nations have gone to war twice, including disputes over the Kashmir region and the 1981 "Tastes Great/Less Filling" war. Secretary of State Colin Powell, on hand to mediate the discussions, drew angry responses from both sides when, after consuming the peanut-butter-tarnished bar, he proclaimed it to be delicious. "I wish both of these leaders could simply see that, despite the differences between the two of them, chocolate and peanut butter are two great tastes that taste great together," said Powell. Musharraf dismissed Powell's claim, citing passages from the Koran specifically declaring the mixing of separate snack foods as "A sin against Allah." The conference ended in further turmoil after a visiting President George W. Bush collapsed after choking on the peanut butter/chocolate hybrid. He is resting comfortably in a hospital this evening and drinking plenty of milk. (Reported by Greg Preece)
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