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Studies Show Zombie, Non-Zombie Teens Don't Mix DURHAM, N.C. (DPI) - Keeping solid friendships is tough for most teens. But as a recent Duke University study reveals, when one friend joins the ranks of the living dead, and the other remains alive, strains in the relationship can begin to overwhelm. The undead, or "zombies" as they are commonly known, quickly find they have little in common with those saddled with curfews and bathing habits, and with little taste for brains. And for their part, the living find the extremely cliquish zombies, with their decaying-flesh smell and constant tortured groaning, to be equally alienating. "I can't think about taking [friend and undead teen Robert Killian] to parties anymore," said living 19-year-old Jaque Verne. "He sheds body parts in the punch and that open chest-wound thing freaks the chicks out." In a series of grunts and tortured howls of the eternally damned, Killian claims his friend is just uptight because Killian cracked open a girl's skull and feasted upon the contents, getting them kicked out of a "raging" party. "He shouldn't have taken me if he didn't want that," Killian states. "I'm a freaking zombie, for crying out loud."  Friendship with zombies can cost teens an arm and a leg. Can teens, or anyone, remain friends once one is called into the Legion of the Walking Damned? University of Virginia sociologist Dieter Mannstein thinks so. "One must understand what the rules for each culture are and respect those rules," he said. Mannstein suggests the living wear bicycle helmets around Undead-Americans to reduce the temptation to smash the brain pan for food. And for the Spawn of Hell's part, a little cologne to reduce the smell of rotting flesh goes a long way toward bridging the gap. "We just have to understand, if you remove the death and sentencing by Satan parts, we are all exactly the same," said Mannstein. (Reported by Davejames, Graphics by Michael Sheinbaum) |
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