CURRENT ISSUE 06/17/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List Riding Shotgun With Adventure Frank Haskins Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   I say we should stop all this French-bashing and start in pronto on those goddamn Somalis. Potpourri may be for sissies, but it sure makes the room smell better. Ever notice there's a heck of a lot of pavement around? If ol' Mitch ever ends up in the clink, scrap that Day-Glo orange crap and dress me like the Hamburglar. Never liked magenta as a color. Never knew why. You know those new McDonald's McGriddles, where the bun of the sausage breakfast sandwich tastes like a syrup-covered pancake? I'd like to see them take that idea one step further and make a breakfast sandwich where the buns taste like sausages and the sausages taste like a syrup-covered pancake. If I could be anywhere, the choice would be easy -- right behind Cheryl Tiegs. No matter what it is, make mine extra mild. I only made that joke about "getting my ears lowered" one time. Tony's a hell of a barber, but a bit of a literalist -- and he's got straight razors. Idea! They should combine both stereo speakers into a single speaker. Only half as tough to set up, my friends. Kids today think they're tough, but they never had a draft to dodge like Mitch did. I, for one, think Hillary must be a tiger in the sack. For my money, nothing beats eating a fresh, vine-ripened beefsteak tomato while having sex with another human. That one girl on the show about the roommates is all skin and bones, folks. Last night's date could have gone better. Stupid, stupid little-known statutes.
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