CURRENT ISSUE 06/17/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List Riding Shotgun With Adventure Frank Haskins Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	This Is Gonna Hurt Like Hell A guest Probeatorial by A Guest Probeatorial by Alphonse Baker, DDS I know you want to hear me say that the only sensation you'll experience is a little pressure. I want you to know I considered telling you just that. But I like you, so I thought honesty would be the best policy. I've already given you the maximum amount of Novocain allowed under state law and still there are signs that your mouth is not completely numb. It happens. I can't give you any more drugs so here's where we're at. This is probably going to hurt. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is going to hurt like hell. When the bit of my dental drill, spinning at 25,000 rpm, breaks through your outer enamel and digs into that fleshy pulp below, you will probably experience the kind of molten, sharp, blinding pain that previously would have been unimaginable even in your worst nightmare. Should you wet yourself or evacuate your bowels during the procedure, don't be ashamed. These reactions are quite normal under the circumstances because the brain has been tricked into thinking the body is actually dying. The good news is I should be able to finish in about five minutes ... 10 tops. Ready? (Transcribed by Brad Osberg)
The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission.