CURRENT ISSUE 06/17/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List Riding Shotgun With Adventure Frank Haskins Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	National Oil Slick Week a "Disaster" LONDON (DPI) - Organizers of the first International Oil Slick Week have branded the event a disaster after the public stayed home in droves. Event spokesman Brett Cooper issued a statement claiming that the almost non-existent crowds were a result of "media indifference" and "a poor appreciation of the benefits of oil slicks amongst the public in general." A packed program of events had been planned, with oil company experts on hand to answer questions both in person and online, and, said Cooper, "huge sums" had been spent on numerous displays and interactive exhibits to educate and thrill the visitors. "Our state-of-the-art tanker simulation, in which the public could attempt to slow a tanker and steer it away from rocks, would have vividly demonstrated how difficult these massive ships are to control," he said. "That would have made the public far less ready to accuse the oil companies of negligence in the event of future slicks." An exciting multimedia experience would have allowed audiences to experience the full effects of a 500,000-ton, single-skin hulled tanker breaking its back over a submerged sand bank only miles from the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia. "The ensuing CGI of the cleanup operation would have been inspiring and clearly demonstrate how a major slick doesn't have to be portrayed negatively," said Cooper. "Think of all the jobs it creates." Cooper also suggested that oil slicks could be seen as a way of "trimming nature down without the need for culls," and that the "overbreeding of creatures such as blue whales and bottlenose dolphins is creating all kinds of environmental problems." He expressed his hope that the forthcoming Tornado Day would be much better supported. (Reported by Alex Prior)
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