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06/24/03

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Advice from Strangers


This Week's Guest

Dr. Bruce Banner


Dear Bruce,

I just don't know what to do. It seems my accountant left town with all my money. Is there anything I can do?

Broke in Boise


Dear Broke,

Well I would start with the police, or maybe a private detective. That happened to me once and man, did that piss me off, my hard earned money STOLEN. The BASTARD. Wait, what's happening? ... GRRRRRRRRRRRR HULK GO after accountant, Hulk smash accountant. Hulk get money back or kill accountant!

The Incredible Hulk



Dear Hulk,

My future mother-in-law says that I can't be with my wife-to-be if I move to another state. I have to move for my job or I could get fired, but fiancee's stubborn mother just won't see things my way. How should I handle this?

Waiting to Get Married in Wyoming


Dear Waiting,

ARGGGGG! HULK HATE PUNY MOTHER-IN-LAW! YOU SMASH MOTHER-IN-LAW! TAKE WOMAN AWAY! LET HULK SMASH MOTHER-IN-LAW!

The Incredible Hulk



Dear Incredible,

My financial portfolio is really screwed up right now. I've got loads of stocks from three different companies that are well below the value that I bought them for. I've got a couple of savings bonds that I can't do anything with because I've only had them for about five years, and a mountain of debt on top of that. Got any advice?

Strapped in Scranton


Dear Strapped,

Hulk know stock market tricky. Hulk say you take bonds pay off stocks. Hulk want you worry about debt instead. Puny stock not pay debt. Sue stockbroker for dispensing bad advice. Hire Hulk. HULK SMASH PUNY STOCKBROKER!

The Incredible Hulk



Dear Hulk,

Why are you green?

Just curious


Dear Sir or Madam,

Well to be honest, I hired a color consultant, along with an anger-management specialist, spin doctor and a few other lackeys. Green tested as my best color so I decided to go with green. Thanks so much for your interest in THE HULK. May peace be with you.

Love,
The Hulk



(Transcribed by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)







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