CURRENT ISSUE 06/24/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Riding Shotgun With Adventure Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Yard Sale Books Reveal Much About Couple's Personal Problems DANVERS, Mass. (DPI) - Most residents of this quiet street in suburban Boston considered Scott and Jennifer Warner to be just another nice, relatively well-adjusted couple. But when the Warners put out a stack of self-help books at their yard sale last weekend, they never realized that in the process of pulling these books out of the closet that they had dug out their skeletons as well. "I always assumed that Jennifer got her strictness and rigidity with her kids from her father, who had been a colonel in the Marines," said neighbor Sandra Hendrickson. "But when I saw the copy of Our Mothers, Ourselves on the table next to a pile of kid's clothes, I realized that Jennifer obviously has a cold, control-freak mother as well. And she always complains about how tight money is, but I didn't really know how bad things were until I spotted a dog-eared copy of Your Guide to Personal Bankruptcy Without Shame next to a set of salt and pepper shakers from Disney World." Another neighbor, Mark Gibson, was also surprised by what he found. "Yeah, I know that Scott likes to throw back a few brewskis, but I didn't know he had a problem until I noticed a copy of the Alcoholic's Anonymous 'Big Book,' said Gibson. "It was in mint condition, like it had never been opened. I'll bet Jennifer bought it for him out of desperation, but obviously he never even touched it, except when he put it out at the yard sale. I guess that would also explain why I also saw a copy of Dr. Laura's Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives right next to it." (Reported by Miles Walker)
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