CURRENT ISSUE 06/24/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Riding Shotgun With Adventure Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Tuesday 17th June Tonight over milk and cookies, I studied the local weekly newspaper to see how the other half lives. It's appalling, really. A whole section of the paper was devoted to pictures of this year's graduating class at its prom. One of the larger photos showed a young couple apparently looking for a contact lens on the floor. A closer examination revealed that the male half of the sketch was performing the infamous "ass-waxing" dance. The girl, rather than covering her face with a shawl when presented with an eager photographer, instead heaved her bosoms out of her dress and smiled stupidly. What's worse is that no reader is likely to complain. The girl's parents will probably cut it out and affix it proudly to their refrigerator with a magnet. I stand on the back of the express toboggan, begging, nay, demanding, that we all stop at the next station. No one listens. We fly onward to our certain degrading doom.
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