|
|
|
|
|
|
|
News From Travistan
The Daily Probe Reports from the Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan
|
|
Travistani Press Succumbs to Sleep-Deprivation Furlough
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - Citing baby-related activities at the highest levels of
Travistan's government, the bleary-eyed dictator and president-for-life of
this apartment-nation temporarily suspended the citizenry's free speech
guarantees in order to catch a few Z's. In accordance with the mighty word
of the apartment's sovereign, the official government news agency,
Al-Traveera, underwent lockdown for "just a couple days while we catch up on
some serious seepy seepy nigh nigh." Blind-sided by a small case of the
sniffles, the presidential daughter acted upon her unofficial power to
suspend rational thought and function in Travistan by shrieking well into
the night. Following the furlough, Al-Traveera staff are said to be working
on a "significant misuse of funds" associated with a government-funded trip
to Long's drugs. Preliminary evidence reportedly indicates that government officials
sent to purchase items related to infantile snot maintenance returned to the
apartment-nation with an unauthorized Athlon football preview magazine and
two Kit Kat bars.
(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
|
|
|