CURRENT ISSUE 6/25/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: Martha Stewart Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner New Feature! Globetrotting with Push Info Archives Crap Shop About The Probe Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Disgruntled Smokey Bear Indicted in Forest Fires CASTLE ROCK, Colo. (DPI) - A Colorado grand jury today indicted Smokey Bear, the lovable mascot/spokesbear of the U.S. Forest Service who for years preached fire safety, on charges he started the massive forest fire in Pike County National Forest. According to officials, the amiable bear who taught, "Only YOU can prevent Forest fires," became disgruntled a few years ago when he was let go from his job after the Forest Service said it was time for a change in how forest-fire prevention is marketed. But friends who wished to remain anonymous said Bear had started showing up late for work or simply not showing up at all, and rumors spread that he'd begun abusing alcohol. "There's just not much work out there for a talking bear with experience in forestry," Bear said from his cell. "Maybe if I could ride a bike or dance." According to family, Bear has been doing nothing for the last couple of years but sitting around and hibernating. Officials are calling this a case of revenge after finding remnants of Bear's famous hat at the site where the fire was started. Bear is being held on $200,000 bond and faces charges of arson, reckless endangerment and attempted murder of thousands upon thousands of little furry forest creatures. (Reported by Jeff Rabinowitz and R.M. Weiner, Graphic by Chris White)
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