CURRENT ISSUE 07/01/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Riding Shotgun With Adventure Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   One great TV show ol' Mitch really misses: The White Shadow. These Crispix people are driving me nuts. It's rice on one side and corn on the other? Pick a flavor already! I don't care what the Supreme Court says -- stay the hell away from my ass there, fellas. Once you've sodomized a goat, you're pretty much through with the sodomy thing. I know I am. If you're filling out a form online, be sure to give them a fake ZIP code. You can't be too careful. Mitch's credo for the week: Don't be a playa hater. It may be just me, but I can't help but feel that sweet little Drew Barrymore turned out a little slutty. Laptop computers are such a pain, especially when you accidentally close them on your crotch. Don't give me that "plantar" stuff -- a wart's a wart. Idea! Someone needs to invent a coffee pot that doubles as a waffle iron. Two birds, one stone, my friends. What's it like to have two feet the exact same size? I sure as hell don't know. I enjoy Metamucil as much as anyone, but man, does it make me have to go to the bathroom. You too? If you ask me, I'll tell you every time: Golf is for lazy guys who can't bowl like real men. If there's a gardener who works with as much precision and care as my barber, he can trim my flower beds anytime. Maybe it's me, but I just plain don't believe Rhode Island exists.
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