Musing With Mitch
by Mitchell Kobriger
One great TV show ol' Mitch really misses: The White Shadow.
These Crispix people are driving me nuts. It's rice on one side and corn on the other? Pick a flavor already!
I don't care what the Supreme Court says -- stay the hell away from my ass there, fellas.
Once you've sodomized a goat, you're pretty much through with the sodomy thing. I know I am.
If you're filling out a form online, be sure to give them a fake ZIP code. You can't be too careful.
Mitch's credo for the week: Don't be a playa hater.
It may be just me, but I can't help but feel that sweet little Drew Barrymore turned out a little slutty.
Laptop computers are such a pain, especially when you accidentally close them on your crotch.
Don't give me that "plantar" stuff -- a wart's a wart.
Idea! Someone needs to invent a coffee pot that doubles as a waffle iron. Two birds, one stone, my friends.
What's it like to have two feet the exact same size? I sure as hell don't know.
I enjoy Metamucil as much as anyone, but man, does it make me have to go to the bathroom. You too?
If you ask me, I'll tell you every time: Golf is for lazy guys who can't bowl like real men.
If there's a gardener who works with as much precision and care as my barber, he can trim my flower beds anytime.
Maybe it's me, but I just plain don't believe Rhode Island exists.