CURRENT ISSUE 07/01/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Riding Shotgun With Adventure Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Sunday 29th June An exciting afternoon travelling from shop to shop with Lisa Guerrero, picking out clothes for her new job on ABC's *Monday Night Football*. The world cheers, does it not? We mourned the exit of Melissa Stark, competent though she was, and attractive too, mainly because her leaving meant we would get no relief from John Madden, professional corpse. But Lisa looks to put quite a spin on the blonde-tongue-depresser-in-a-turtleneck thing that Melissa did so ably. Only fifteen minutes ago she slapped a rather sheer teddy out of my hand, shrieking that Al Michaels would certainly find it inappropriate. I am still thrilling over the violence! I put a Soviet-style fur hat (for those legendary Buffalo nights) on her, and held a white push-up bikini top to her not inconsiderable breasts. Her exasperated kick is one I'll never forget. On Monday nights in September, you will all be grooving to this girl's football-shaped mind, as I already do.
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