Tiger Woods Also Far Better Than You at Sex
WINTER HAVEN, Fla. (DPI) - Phenom Tiger Woods, at age
27 already the best golfer in the world, is also much,
MUCH better than you at sex. No contest, friend. His
father, Earl Woods, prepared his son from an early age
to excel at golf. It was just a pleasant side effect
that the young man decided to apply the same physical
and mental prowess to the art of pleasuring a woman.
It's not really a big surprise that his money, good
looks, athletic body, and caring attitude enable him
to far surpass your own brutish, to put it
You probably wonder if the gulf between his and your
sexual prowess can be quantified. Sure it can. Just
sit back and listen. Tiger's first Masters victory
was by 12 strokes, with a score of 18 under par. The
rest of the field was left gasping in his wake. Now
picture that same Tiger Woods bringing a flawless
Nordic blonde to three different kinds of orgasm in
the space of two hours. One hard screaming orgasm to
start off, then a tender one, then one where she's
riding him with furious hair-whipping abandon while he
grins his Buick-ad grin. Quick, now, also picture the
last time YOU came to bed without bathing and rubbed
your woman's dry sex parts with your fingers until she
faked a quiver just to keep you from drawing blood,
then she let you hump her for your dirty pleasure so
she could finally get back to sleep.
In the foregoing scenario, Tiger's virtuoso lovemaking
is to your pathetic gouging as his 12-stroke Masters
victory was to the performance of the last-place
finisher. This knowledge might inspire you to work to
improve your technique, but you should not expect to
ever display one-hundredth of the erotic skill of Mr.
(Reported by Steve Meckleburg)
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