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Jacko's Face Melts
LOS ANGELES (DPI) - Pop superstar Michael Jackson was hospitalized last
night after his face apparently
partially melted during an evening with young friends at his Neverland
Ranch.
"Michael was fooling around by the barbecue when one of the
kids started screaming and pointing," said aide Susan Somerfield, who was
present at the evening of fun hosted by her
employer. "I saw that the right side of Michael
seemed to be slowly collapsing and his ear seemed to be sliding down toward
his neck."
The horrific spectacle soon drew the attention of the other guests, who,
according to Somerfield, began shouting, screaming and, in some cases,
wetting themselves. "Michael seemed not to have noticed at first,
but when the kids began fainting, he realized something was wrong and tried
to move away from the group," she said. "By this time I had lost sight of
his right ear,
and his lower lip appeared to be moving southwards also."
Police have confirmed that they were called to an incident at the singer's
home and had to provide medical aid until the paramedics arrived. "Jeez,
it was like looking at your sister's Barbie after you had left it in front
of a magnifying glass by the window," Said one officer. "I've seen
some things, but this was really freaky. It's gonna take some serious cash
to sort that little mess out."
Neverland Ranch staff issued a statement denying any serious
incident and claiming that their employer would be "taking a well-earned
break in Switzerland for the next six months," and would, after some rest,
be
"better, stronger and faster than before."
(Reported by Alex Prior)
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The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday or whenever we damn well feel like it.
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