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Jacko's Face Melts

LOS ANGELES (DPI) - Pop superstar Michael Jackson was hospitalized last night after his face apparently partially melted during an evening with young friends at his Neverland Ranch. "Michael was fooling around by the barbecue when one of the kids started screaming and pointing," said aide Susan Somerfield, who was present at the evening of fun hosted by her employer. "I saw that the right side of Michael seemed to be slowly collapsing and his ear seemed to be sliding down toward his neck." The horrific spectacle soon drew the attention of the other guests, who, according to Somerfield, began shouting, screaming and, in some cases, wetting themselves. "Michael seemed not to have noticed at first, but when the kids began fainting, he realized something was wrong and tried to move away from the group," she said. "By this time I had lost sight of his right ear, and his lower lip appeared to be moving southwards also." Police have confirmed that they were called to an incident at the singer's home and had to provide medical aid until the paramedics arrived. "Jeez, it was like looking at your sister's Barbie after you had left it in front of a magnifying glass by the window," Said one officer. "I've seen some things, but this was really freaky. It's gonna take some serious cash to sort that little mess out." Neverland Ranch staff issued a statement denying any serious incident and claiming that their employer would be "taking a well-earned break in Switzerland for the next six months," and would, after some rest, be "better, stronger and faster than before."

(Reported by Alex Prior)

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