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7/9/02 Front Page Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: Elvis Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Globetrotting with Push Info Archives Crap Shop About The Probe Contact Us! |
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Horror-Film Producers Decry Lack of Fake-Blood Donors Speaking from a release on behalf of the struggling industry group, spokesman Wes Craven asked Americans to "look deep into their hearts and cupboards, and give the gift of death" to the nation's hundreds of needy ax-murderers. "By offering just a pint every eight weeks, you can make a difference in the life of a director who desperately needs to create a spurting artery or severed head," said Barker, whose last film, Dracula 2000, required actors to be spurted with orange Vietnamese chili sauce during several scenes. The Screen Actors Guild is currently filing suit against Craven on behalf of an actor who suffered severe sauce burns to his eye. "In only an hour of your time, you can turn a cinematic dud into a masterpiece of disembowelment and decapitation," said Stephen King, making a rare public appearance on behalf of the group. King's 1995 box-office disappointment, The Mangler, featured actors dribbling small fluttering pieces of red tissue paper confetti from open wounds.
The nation's shortage of fake blood reached a critical level in late 1989, leading some to accuse directors of unsustainable and irresponsible usage during the slasher-film days of the 1980's. "In the time of black-and-white film, there was an unending supply of alternatives," said Dr. Ivan Rothburg, Chairman of the non-profit Institute for Sustainable Film Death. "The shower scene from Psycho was accomplished entirely with two pots of strong black coffee. In the days of cheap freeze-dried Folger's and molasses, fake blood was plentiful due to thousands of regular donors. But nowadays, new film technologies and FDA-mandated redness standards have increased the need for high-quality gore like never before." Currently, the FDA tests fake blood for 13 different standards of redness, consistency and splatterability. King, whose works inspired films that make up one of the largest concentrations of fake blood usage in the 1990s, challenged filmgoers to donate directly: "Over the course of our lives, 60 percent of us will at one time watch a film with an assassin blasting a bloody hole in some actor's head. Or with a crazed cannibalistic madman dragging a naked, bleeding corpse across a kitchen floor. Yet only 2 percent of us ever step into the kitchen to mix up a donation of fake blood." King, the victim of a horrific real-life automobile accident in 1999, ended his statement with, "and while you're at it, please give real blood, too." |
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