CURRENT ISSUE 7/13/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? McQuigly & Moss Musing With Mitch The Probethicist Probe Film Strip: Anchorman Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	McQuigly and Moss     Scotty's Alzheimer's Diagnosis Should Be Call to Arms for More Funding By Dirk McQuigly There are three weeks in my lifetime burned into my brain as the most tragic events of all time - the day the Twin Towers fell after radical militants crashed two 747s into them, the day Dad left my Mom for the high school cheerleader who used to dunk my head in the toilet once a week and the death of science fiction god Gene Roddenberry. But this past week, I've added a fourth - the revelation that James Doohan, better known to the world as Star Trek's Scotty, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. "How could this happen?" I asked myself about twenty times this past week while crying myself to sleep on my vintage 1969 Scotty pillowcases. The very thought made me question whether God actually exists. But, like my counselor always tells me when faced with personal tragedies, I tried to look at the bright side and realized that even though Doohan's suffering could be used to prevent further iconic legends from suffering the same fate. Alzheimer's is a debilitating disease that affects millions of people every year whether they have the disease or they have a loved one who has the disease. But very little progress has been made in curbing the spread. Maybe in some way, Doohan's startling announcement will shock other people into realizing that not enough is being done financially to prevent others from suffering the tremendous emotional and physical pain from this debilitating disease. Because if Patrick McGoohan from The Prisoner gets diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I don't know what I'll do. More Funding Won't Bring Back Scotty By Anna Moss If there ever was a reason for being sad, it's that Scotty announcing he has Alzheimer's Disease. Scotty, that lovable engineer who got Kirk and the Enterprise Crew out of like SO many bad situations. If Scotty said it would take an hour to fix, Kirk would reply with "I need it in 20 minutes" and you could always count on Scotty's reply to be "Aye, Cap'n, I'll get it done in 20 minutes." He wasn't a glamorous star like Nimoy or Shatner, but Scotty was the reliable one and it's certainly a shame that he has the disease. But more funding is not the answer. Sure there are a few Celebes that have the disease, and to see former President Reagan being transported into an almost unrecognizable person was tragic. As an aside, speaking of transporters, In a rather odd coincidence, episode #130 of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation called Relics, Scotty made a guest appearance in one of my favorite all time STNG episodes. It seems he was trapped in a transporter loop that kept him alive for the 70 years or so until Picard found him. But I digress. A better solution is public awareness. It's not like there's been a zillion celebrities who have the disease. Make the public more aware of the signs and symptoms, like when my Uncle Eric suddenly started to forget things like putting on his pants before he went outside. People need to recognize the symptoms, not a bunch of celebrities who just want some kind of recognition for everything they do. As usual, the scientists will someday come up with a cure. Is Doohan's announcement a tragedy? Of course it's a tragedy. But don't let your emotions interfere with common sense. For God's sake, use some confounded Vulcan logic. (Transcribed by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)
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