CURRENT ISSUE 7/13/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? McQuigly & Moss Musing With Mitch The Probethicist Probe Film Strip: Anchorman Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!

Congratulations or Condolences on a Great Quarter! A guest Probeatorial by By CEO Robert S. Tallmadge In keeping with our recent settlement with the SEC and our internal auditors rules regarding selective disclosure of information under Regulation FD of the SEC, I've been asked to "keep it vague" in our traditional end of quarter email to the team that highlights individuals and sales regions that have excelled during the past quarter, but I don't think a little "kudos" to the sales animals is going to get any of us in hot water! I'd like to start by saying either congratulations or condolences on the quarter to our midwest sales team, who either posted their best quarter ever or missed their number spectacularly! I'd say the management continues to expect either great things or immediate layoffs in the near future from this team, so watch this space for an update. Special recognition to someone somewhere who went above and beyond the call of duty in some way that is material to the business and can't be disclosed! Great job! Teams that deserve special note include our Atlanta team and our LA teams, who, despite having either a massive quota to reach or a fat pipeline that an idiot could have closed, managed to either blow out the number or fall miserably short of the revenue number needed to save our collective butts! Make sure you all personally recognize these guys at the upcoming President's Club event which will be held or cancelled based on how the numbers for Q3 come out! I look forward to seeing you all once again do something noteworthy in Q3. I am confident that we have a number of significant deals we can't talk about on the table and that many factors outlined in the Safe Harbor Act of 1934 will come to bear on the unpredictable nature of our continued employment! I hope you are all as pumped up or scared shitless as the management team is! (Transcribed by Ross Brown)

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